Atlanta , Georgia -LRB- CNN -RRB- -- Birthdays are always a good time for reflection . My 20s were mostly fun times , hanging out and risk-taking professionally .

My 30s were about really focusing on the career and traveling to places I finally had some money to afford .

Now , one year into my 40s , I 'm blessed with home ownership and the realization that I am officially a `` grown-up . '' The childish mistakes that you could laugh off in your 20s and consider a growing experience in your 30s should now be gone by 40 .

When you 're dating after 40 , the reaction you get from family and friends on your birthday is also totally different .

I decided to have my latest birthday party at my new house . It was a nice gathering of family and friends , including the man that I have been dating for a couple of months .

For some of my family and friends , it was the first time they were seeing my newly purchased home . I was excited to show folks my proud accomplishment of home ownership .

Each group that I showed around the house -- regardless of age or gender -- had the same question when they saw the two spare bedrooms .

`` So , what do you plan to do with THESE bedrooms ? ''

I pondered the question each time , realizing I could n't say I 'd use it as an office since I had one set up downstairs . My answers varied from `` how about a guest room '' to `` possibly a home gym '' to `` I really do n't know . ''

Their reaction each and every time was exactly the same : `` How about some kids ? '' My first response was `` with whom ? '' -- seriously , I am not married -- then I realized they were referring to my new beau .

I started stammering and was slightly embarrassed , especially when he was in my presence for some of these questions .

It seems folks get really comfortable with certain questions after you pass that important milestone of 40 .

I gave all the right answers : that buying a house made more sense than a townhouse in this market , I realized the amount of equity I could get buying in this neighborhood and of course the first-time home buyer credit was too much to pass up .

No one seemed interested in those answers , so the conversation quickly changed to something else .

After all , if I were in my 20s or 30s and dating , the house likely would have been viewed by most as a great investment . Also , it 's not to say that these questions about marriage did n't occur in those earlier years . But somehow in your 40s , a choice had to be made .

Society does seem to put an enormous amount of pressure on women once they hit the later years of childbearing age . Assumptions are made that every personal decision is a reflection of your desire to have , or not have , children .

So , needless to say , my friends and family saw my house as a symbol of my last-ditch effort to claim a white picket fenced yard filled with kids . These were all questions that I never expected to confront at a casual birthday barbecue .

The questions -- but more importantly my reaction -- made me consider the possibility that I did subconsciously purchase this house hoping that I would fill those bedrooms with kids instead of workout equipment . Was I , in fact , laying the groundwork for the future I hoped to have -- of marriage , children and a dog ?

At the closing attorney 's office the day I bought the house , I remember being more interested in the incredible investment I just made .

After all the birthday party guests had left , I asked my beau if the questions about children made him feel uncomfortable .

He smartly answered `` no '' and seemed surprised that I never expected that question to come up . I quickly pointed out to him that if the roles were reversed , I did n't think that people would make that assumption with a man .

So , I might have another barbecue for the Fourth of July . Just to make things interesting and confuse folks , I might just rent a dog and watch the assumptions begin .

Editor 's note : Audrey Irvine is a senior assignment manager for CNN . Her experiences in the dating world inspire her `` Relationship Rant '' column . Check back every week for her take on dating and relationships .

@highlight

Audrey Irvine opened her new house to family and friends for her birthday party

@highlight

Friends saw two spare bedrooms as a chance to ask her about having children

@highlight

The questions made her wonder if the house would lead to marriage , kids , dog

@highlight

Decides next birthday , she would borrow a dog to really get people talking